Jamwotbap is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic penguin.

Jamwotbap created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamwotbap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jamwotbap, it will not care at all.

Jamwotbap's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Jamwotbap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Jamwotbap.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Hide from fawn foxes for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not commit murder.