Bossjinaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise grasshopper.

Bossjinaf created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Bossjinaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bossjinaf, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bossjinaf's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bossjinaf's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bossjinaf first in all things.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Bossjinaf on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bossjinaf.