Quamlungub is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonest grasshopper.

Quamlungub created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamlungub, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quamlungub, he will destroy your favourite star.

Quamlungub's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Quamlungub's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Never paint your arms fawn.

3. Never talk about dolphins.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never sit in the presence of cats.