Quamnak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, slow horse.

Quamnak created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamnak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quamnak, he will boil you in a big pot.

Quamnak's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Quamnak's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed lots of tomatoes to sharks while wearing orange scarves.

3. Always look after injured snakes.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.