Dograpkampopbisszaknab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart dryad.

Dograpkampopbisszaknab created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Dograpkampopbisszaknab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dograpkampopbisszaknab, it will throw large rocks at you.

Dograpkampopbisszaknab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dograpkampopbisszaknab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Never bounce near tortoises.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Put Dograpkampopbisszaknab first in all things.

5. Never think ill of sick ants.