Pigwottof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring pig.

Pigwottof created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigwottof, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pigwottof, she will cry a lot.

Pigwottof's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Pigwottof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Never talk about optics near voles while wearing yellow shoes.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not covet oxen.