Orthatkapvag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, generous jellyfish.

Orthatkapvag created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Orthatkapvag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Orthatkapvag, he will turn you into a mole.

Orthatkapvag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Orthatkapvag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five iron sculptures of Orthatkapvag on top of important buildings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Run away if seven tortoises approach from the north.