Bopnatquim is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty bear.

Bopnatquim created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopnatquim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bopnatquim, it will not care at all.

Bopnatquim's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bopnatquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about carrots.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not eat aubergines.