Zimmonflat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, duplicitous parrot.

Zimmonflat created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Zimmonflat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zimmonflat, it will throw large rocks at you.

Zimmonflat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Zimmonflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to manatees while wearing fawn tights.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. You must never eat parsnips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.