Dunmadwik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous snake.

Dunmadwik created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Dunmadwik, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dunmadwik, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Dunmadwik's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dunmadwik's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Never wear green trousers.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.