Arptonjap is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, blissful walrus.

Arptonjap created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Arptonjap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arptonjap, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Arptonjap's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Arptonjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Do not keep seven goats in a large pit.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect three silicon sculptures of Arptonjap on top of important buildings.