Nartvegkim is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane fly.

Nartvegkim created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartvegkim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nartvegkim, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Nartvegkim's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Nartvegkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Retreat if five manatees approach from the west.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near turtles while wearing green jumpers.