Guphakdud is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, omniscient naga.

Guphakdud created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Guphakdud, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Guphakdud, she will turn you into a puffin.

Guphakdud's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Guphakdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near geese.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Hide if five cats approach from the west.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Always wear gray.