Xinrapbet is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, compassionate manatee.

Xinrapbet created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinrapbet, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xinrapbet, it will send minions to preach to you.

Xinrapbet's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Xinrapbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. You must pray to Xinrapbet seven times a day.

4. Run away from mauve seals, for they are unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.