Figlistquag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, tranquil whale.

Figlistquag created the Black Eye Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figlistquag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Figlistquag, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Figlistquag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Figlistquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Figlistquag loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.