Dinbogwot Haklam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, humane dragon.

Dinbogwot Haklam created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinbogwot Haklam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dinbogwot Haklam, he will turn you into a dog.

Dinbogwot Haklam's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Dinbogwot Haklam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Retreat if nine whales approach from the north.

5. Dinbogwot Haklam must be the most important thing in your life.