Yimfossnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered turtle.

Yimfossnurl created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Yimfossnurl, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yimfossnurl, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yimfossnurl's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yimfossnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yimfossnurl.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Yimfossnurl loves shrews, so they must be honoured.