Nurtbuthimlit is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, deceitful dingo.

Nurtbuthimlit created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbuthimlit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtbuthimlit, it will manifest in front of you.

Nurtbuthimlit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nurtbuthimlit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Birds are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed lots of peanuts to swans while wearing mauve kilts.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near ants while wearing turquoise hats and balancing nine platinum spheres on your arms.