Vonkgodfon is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest snail.

Vonkgodfon created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgodfon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonkgodfon, it will turn you into a plant.

Vonkgodfon's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Vonkgodfon's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not covet oxen.