Gofjinjin Botjabceb is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciless finch.

Gofjinjin Botjabceb created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofjinjin Botjabceb, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gofjinjin Botjabceb, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gofjinjin Botjabceb's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gofjinjin Botjabceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to porpoises while wearing coats.

2. Always help snakes.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.