Hogsafsid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful cow.

Hogsafsid created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogsafsid, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hogsafsid, she will destroy your home solar system.

Hogsafsid's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hogsafsid's Holy Commandments

1. Hogsafsid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. You must love Hogsafsid.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.