Dosstipwip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, stupid cat.

Dosstipwip created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Dosstipwip, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dosstipwip, it will turn you into a slug.

Dosstipwip's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Dosstipwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back green.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Dosstipwip in the centre of the settlement.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Dosstipwip loves great tits, so they must be honoured.