Gomartfar is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic duck.

Gomartfar created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomartfar, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gomartfar, she will curse you with boils.

Gomartfar's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gomartfar's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not kill whales.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.