Quagkanlip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, prudent wolf.

Quagkanlip created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Quagkanlip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quagkanlip, he will try to impress you with trees.

Quagkanlip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Quagkanlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help shrews in need.