Rakwapsakdonnurl Mumfodfot is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, self-assured squirrel.

Rakwapsakdonnurl Mumfodfot created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakwapsakdonnurl Mumfodfot, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rakwapsakdonnurl Mumfodfot, it will curse you with boils.

Rakwapsakdonnurl Mumfodfot's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Rakwapsakdonnurl Mumfodfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Run away if seven whales approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide from gray sharks for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.