Geppakbass is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, wise turtle.

Geppakbass created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Geppakbass, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Geppakbass, he will destroy your favourite star.

Geppakbass' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Geppakbass' Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Geppakbass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Do not kill dogs.