Batcatsid is a god.

He takes the form of a large, bad-tempered fish.

Batcatsid created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Batcatsid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Batcatsid, he will not care at all.

Batcatsid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Batcatsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five porpoises in a large pit.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Respect your elders.