Ponmadsat is a god.

She takes the form of a small, intelligent dove.

Ponmadsat created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ponmadsat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ponmadsat, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ponmadsat's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Ponmadsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Put Ponmadsat first in all things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.