Camwanwot is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic swallow.

Camwanwot created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Camwanwot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Camwanwot, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Camwanwot's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Camwanwot's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always obey Camwanwot's priests.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.