Hivcimarn is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective donkey.

Hivcimarn created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivcimarn, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hivcimarn, it will turn you into a tree.

Hivcimarn's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hivcimarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about spacetime.