Banflamvad Titspagxuckgen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, blissful finch.

Banflamvad Titspagxuckgen created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Banflamvad Titspagxuckgen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Banflamvad Titspagxuckgen, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Banflamvad Titspagxuckgen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Banflamvad Titspagxuckgen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.