Hogsabbud is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, irritating lion.

Hogsabbud created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hogsabbud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hogsabbud, he will turn you into a plant.

Hogsabbud's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hogsabbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hogsabbud.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat green fruit.