Venmidfonappboploopvigzim is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, weak jaguar.

Venmidfonappboploopvigzim created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Venmidfonappboploopvigzim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Venmidfonappboploopvigzim, it will turn you into a hamster.

Venmidfonappboploopvigzim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Venmidfonappboploopvigzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Learn three new languages a year.