Popzaktif is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, strong spider.

Popzaktif created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popzaktif, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Popzaktif, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Popzaktif's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Popzaktif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near snakes while wearing purple kilts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Run away from violet mice, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.