Dibnurlril is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful guinea pig.

Dibnurlril created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dibnurlril, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dibnurlril, she will turn you into a snail.

Dibnurlril's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dibnurlril's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ants.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never hurt great tits.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.