Tongonfudzighiv is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident coyote.

Tongonfudzighiv created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tongonfudzighiv, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tongonfudzighiv, it will come to you in dreams.

Tongonfudzighiv's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tongonfudzighiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Tongonfudzighiv must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not keep four bats in a large pit.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.