Jarnyarlpak is a god.

It takes the form of a small, fussy duck.

Jarnyarlpak created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnyarlpak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jarnyarlpak, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jarnyarlpak's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jarnyarlpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jarnyarlpak.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Hide if nine cats approach from the north.