Tagloghen is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered goat.

Tagloghen created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Tagloghen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tagloghen, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Tagloghen's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Tagloghen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine sheep approach from the south.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tagloghen.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near capybaras while wearing purple trousers and balancing seven silver spheres on your neck.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.