Pogarnshavsog is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental hyena.

Pogarnshavsog created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogarnshavsog, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pogarnshavsog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pogarnshavsog's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Pogarnshavsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing green jumpers and balancing nine zinc spheres on your chest.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Run away if three horses approach from the north.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about enzymes.