Tadpakhat is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciless manatee.

Tadpakhat created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadpakhat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tadpakhat, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tadpakhat's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Tadpakhat's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are not to be trusted.

2. Always obey Tadpakhat's priests.

3. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always help dolphins.