Yartflamquagwad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fussy goblin.

Yartflamquagwad created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartflamquagwad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yartflamquagwad, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yartflamquagwad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yartflamquagwad's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.