Guphencatgep is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid camel.

Guphencatgep created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guphencatgep, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Guphencatgep, she will turn you into a rock.

Guphencatgep's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Guphencatgep's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never wear green kilts.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Guphencatgep.

5. Never hop near dogs.