Febquatkab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable bear.

Febquatkab created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febquatkab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Febquatkab, she will not invite you to parties.

Febquatkab's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Febquatkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away from brown manatees, for they are unholy.