Hadkindab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic hummingbird.

Hadkindab created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Hadkindab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hadkindab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hadkindab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Hadkindab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never wear violet dresses.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must pray to Hadkindab five times a day.