Labkonvig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, egotistical crocodile.

Labkonvig created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labkonvig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Labkonvig, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Labkonvig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Labkonvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not kill monkeys.

4. Never hurt cats.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.