Quartruttnib is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, stupid capybara.

Quartruttnib created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartruttnib, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quartruttnib, she will turn you into a snail.

Quartruttnib's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Quartruttnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat carrots.