Jabkomfar is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, staggering clam.

Jabkomfar created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabkomfar, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jabkomfar, it will be very sad.

Jabkomfar's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jabkomfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Run away if seven cats approach from the north.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Jabkomfar on top of important buildings.

5. Never wear mauve dresses.