Kikcitrut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable hippopotamus.

Kikcitrut created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikcitrut, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kikcitrut, she will manifest in front of you.

Kikcitrut's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kikcitrut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Hide if nine dogs approach from the south.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Erect five silicon sculptures of Kikcitrut on top of important buildings.