Renmidbastdiss Arpflabmat Jinzigbod is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, witless penguin.

Renmidbastdiss Arpflabmat Jinzigbod created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Renmidbastdiss Arpflabmat Jinzigbod, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Renmidbastdiss Arpflabmat Jinzigbod, it will destroy your home solar system.

Renmidbastdiss Arpflabmat Jinzigbod's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Renmidbastdiss Arpflabmat Jinzigbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing brown coats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Renmidbastdiss Arpflabmat Jinzigbod must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never laugh near doves.