Tundavduss Hivmonfeb Nel is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful dugong.

Tundavduss Hivmonfeb Nel created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tundavduss Hivmonfeb Nel, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tundavduss Hivmonfeb Nel, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tundavduss Hivmonfeb Nel's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tundavduss Hivmonfeb Nel's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near capybaras while wearing black rings and balancing seven silver spheres on your feet.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tundavduss Hivmonfeb Nel.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always take life seriously.